Guestblog: "If God Didn't Want Us To Eat Animals ......" by Fred Carroll

Below is a guest blog from resident & Realistic Balance Common Council candidate Fred Carroll. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers.Type "Fred Carroll" into our search bar for more essays by Dr. Fred

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"If God Didn't Want Us To Eat Animals ......" "He would not have made them out of meat!" You've undoubtedly heard that admittedly clever one liner, which, while pithy, is also problematic, for if being "made out of meat" is the salient criterion for eating some......body, then by deduction, you and I are one hundred per cent "plat-able", as we are surely made of meat. [And for our purposes here we are talking only of the flesh, as there is presumably no such thing as "eating someones soul", after all....] So to get right to that very vital and very edible organ, the heart of the matter, why, pray tell, don't meat eating Humans eat the meat of other Humans? Or at the very least the family pet; you know, like after The Kids have grown up and mercifully moved out, and FIDO is way too old and feeble to wrangle with an intruder, why, instead of taking him to the Veterinarian or the Shelter to be humanely euthanized, don't we take him to the Butcher or The Slaughter House to be humanely slaughtered, and at least have one last delicious meal off of our Old Friends demise? Come on now, admit it, there's no good reason why you shouldn't eat your Dog when he dies...... I mean what's the problem? And while we're at it, don't the laws need to change to allow for the safe, humane consumption of ALL meat based cadavers? Think about it, there are countless hungry Humans out there and yet we continue burying perfectly good food-"meat"- in expensive boxes called "caskets", or "coffins"....what the Hell is up with that?! Come on people, let's lose the silly taboos and antiquated "traditions" prohibiting the safe consumption of any and all meat. Consider if you will, for example, that there are Humans who would NEVER eat a Cow, others who prefer Dog, and still others for whom LIVE MONKEY BRAIN is the creme de la creme of fine cuisine! And, surely someone somewhere [besides Iron deficient Mike Tyson] is licking his chops at the prospect of eating his enemies and their children....so let us come up to speed and "get with the program" here........see you for dinner! Sincerely, "Toothless" Fred Carroll

Guestblog: When Did A House Become A Home? By Fred Carroll

Below is a guest blog by frequent blogger Fred Carroll. Views expressed are that of the author not necessarily the Insider staff. Dr. Fred has graciously been a guest blogger before, and his last post can be read here:Guest blog: What's the Plan Stan? by Fred Carroll. 

When Did A House Become A Home?  

by Fred Carroll  

 

A house is not a home, end of story. A "homemaker" can make a home in a house, or make a home out of a house, but a house is not a home on it's own, anymore than a tent, prison cell, or cardboard box that a refrigerator came in is inherently a home. Indeed, what we call "housing" these days is, as far as I can tell, a primary root cause of what we call "Homelessness". Consider, if you will, what are these "houses" that we're all so keen to at least live in if not even own. Well, to start with, if you want to build one of these behemoths, however big or small, it starts with cutting down trees, which are "home" to countless animals; from birds [remember them?] to squirrels to monkeys to bugs. So building a house starts by creating homelessness in the animal kingdom and ends up bringing, as often as not, the poor sucker who stepped up to the plate of home ownership to his knees, lain low by the demon of debt......And why is that? Do otherwise hard working types get lazy after a few years of being homeowners? No, it's not that folks get lazy after they buy a house, it's that they paid way too much for it! A bear digs for half a day and has a home for the Winter, a bird works for three days to create a home, a bunch of elk just stand there, and they're home! But a human who pays one hundred thousand dollars for a house and earns fifty thousand dollars per year worked for TWO YEARS to "create a home", and of course that calculation implies "living for free" for those two years-impossible, of course. And that is just the beginning of the cost of the idiot rectangle.....there's The Taxes, the maintenance, the water and gas and electricity, and garbage pick up without which this thing is worse than useless. So WHY, pray tell, do we call these stupid boxes that most of us live in "HOMES"?  

Vexed and perplexed, Fred Carroll

Many of Carroll's sketches are on display at the Buttonwood Tree on Main Street.

Guestblog: If It Ain't S.W.A.T.,......It's "So What?" by Fred Carroll

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  Illustration by Fred Carroll. 

  Below is a guest blog from resident Fred Carroll. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers. "Dr." Fred Carrol has shared his thoughts with us many times before via guest blog- his last can be read here: http://www.middletowninsider.com/2013/06/guestblog-middletown-has-greatest-bums.html
  

  
  If It Ain't S.W.A.T.,......It's "So What?" I walked into the Middletown Police Station Sunday evening to report having been [what I understood to be] "assaulted" and after telling the Desk Officer my story, he responded; "And what do you want ME to do about this?"......one answer I eschewed was "I don't know, call a Cop, maybe?" deciding rather on; "I don't know, is there a protocol for this type of incident?" and he responded; "Oh, we could go and talk to him about it, but if he denies it then it's a case of "He said, she said...." to which I responded "There were witnesses" to which he responded "Witnesses won't talk to the Police over there" [the thing happened on Liberty Street], to which I responded "There's probably a security camera film of it..." to which he didn't respond but was probably thinking "Ha, most of those cameras haven't worked in years.". So at this point I say "So some felonious street thug can force me off my bike in the middle of Liberty Street, pick up my bike IN ONE HAND and menace me with it as if he might throw it at me and back me all the way to Main Street issuing death threats and worse, finally throwing said bike sort of at me but basically just in my general direction and that's just a case of "And so what do you want ME to do about this?".....I would have thought that what he did MIGHT BE A CRIME.....no????" At this point he asked me my name, address, and phone number and gave me a phone number to call if I'm ever lonely, and we called it a deal.........thoroughly intimidated......Fred Carroll
• P.S. I've never owned or fired a gun but maybe I understand Mr. Zimmerman a little bit better, as in "He who counts on another courts disappointment".....you are on your own, after you're dead, everyone will jump up and get to work on "solving the case"......

Guest Blog: Why I Don't Beg (Through I Probably Should) by Fred Carroll

Below is a guest blog from resident Fred Carroll. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers. "Dr." Fred Carroll has shared his thoughts with us many times before via guest blog- his last can be read here: 
http://www.middletowninsider.com/2013/06/guestblog-barefooted-begging-by-fred.html

ps : Thanks Dr. Fred we finally got your name spelled right

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Why I Don't Beg {Though I Probably Should}.......I don't beg for two reasons, first, with my Middle Class Sensibilities, I've never been particularly comfortable asking for a whole lot of anything from anyone, never mind money from strangers, and second, I absolutely don't need to beg. That is, there's nothing which I need and couldn't have gotten for myself had it been sufficiently important to me. I might need this, that, or the other thing at any given moment, but again, whence from wouldst I presume to make that "your problem" by asking you for money? Money which, you of course need for your own action.......By The Way I have the very greatest contempt for Fake Indigents, those who garb up destitute to fool you out of some Pity Cash, and if I were King that would be a good profession to avoid......Continuing, I'm all about "context" in things, like "Why"? and "Why NOW"? and "Why HERE"?......so for me to feel straight with asking you for money as you go by I would have to intro it with "Hey, I'm lazy and or stupid and or self indulgent and I was just wondering if you'd maybe wanna take up some of the inevitable SLACK on all of that for me, maybe, eh?" And I'm not feelin' that......As for throwing a Hat On The Ground when I weed and sweep, well, that absolutely changes the dynamic from "Are WE in this thing together?" to "Nobody asked me to do this......but feel free to pay me, by all means!" which I'm not generally "feeling" either......Of course, I might pick up a Booze or other Hard Drug Habit tomorrow and all the fancy talk goes right out the window! But until that happens,.........." Hail thee well, fellow citizen!" And good luck paying all those Bills........

Sincerely, FRED "Misquote Me, But Spell My Name Right" CARROLL
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Did you know Fred Carroll can draw? Not only did
Fred found the "Bums with Brooms"  sidewalk
beautification movement, but he is quite the artist.
Many of Fred's slice of life illustrations are on display
at the Buttonwood Tree on Main St.
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Guestblog: Middletown Has The Greatest Bums In The World by Fred Carrol

Below is a guest blog from resident Fred Carrol. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers. "Dr." Fred Carrol has shared his thoughts with us many times before via guest blog- his last can be read here: http://www.middletowninsider.com/2013/04/guest-blog-fred-carrol-whats-plan-stan.html
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Middletown Has The Greatest Bums In The World.......that's the good news; the bad news is, that even "The greatest Bums who ever existed in the history of the world" are nonetheless a righteous drag, or perhaps more accurately and specifically , a"self righteous drag". And that, in a nuts-hell is the problem. These Bums "around here" don't seem to know that even a good "old style paradigm" Bum is useless and in the way....or, knowing, they don't really believe it. And neither do you really believe it either! You "non homeless" for the most part probably don't grasp the extent to which, without a dollar in your pocket you might as well just lay down and die, prompting from passers by the question "I wonder, should I step over or walk around?" Yup, without a Yankee Dollar in pocket you might as well just lay down on the ground and expire, the only question concomitant to your poorly placed departure being one of circumnavigation. I am of course perfectly serious about that.....have you not walked by a Homo Sapien lying, possibly dead, on the ground? I have....... Clearly, that "person" lying on the ground was not anybody important, or, if the were important, nobody walking by that day recognized that it was an important person lying there on the ground.....Which brings me to the point, that there is a very fundamental lie, or perhaps "hallucination" is the word, to the "way we do business" around here-key word "business". Every thing[and everyone] has been objectified, commodified, codified, and the bottom line is the bottom line. Yeah, you, me, or a Cow, we're food on someone's plate, sooner or later, in one way or another, end of story. If you'd like "some evidence" just try and deny the I.R.S. [a.k.a. the ATF of Waco Texas Fame....] their next meal of "the fruits of your labors" and see haw visceral it gets, see how real how fast it gets.
In conclusion, the Bums are Victims, Ladies and Gentlemen, even as we all are; we all have our predators and parasites who eventually lay us low, if not fully take us down. The "poor pathetic dopes" who can be seen, heard, and smelled standing, stumbling, leaning, and lurching about are simply Signed, sealed, and Delivered Losers who've gotten their bona fides, so to speak. So yeah, if "these dopes" could figure it out to find a less obnoxious way to Serve The System, or Serve Themselves To The System we'd all be a lot happier or at least less unhappy. And that's what I know about that.

Seriously, Fred Carroll

Guestblog:Can't Get There From Here, The Preposterous Police Paradigm Middletown

Below is a essay by Fred Carrol. All opinions expressed are that of the author and not necessarily that of the Insider staff.

Fred Carrol affectionately know as "Dr. Carrol" is a frequent guest blogger of ours, so to read more of his essays type "Fred Carrol" into our search above, or click on his name in the tags below.
In his own words below:
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Can't Get There From Here, The Preposterous Police Paradigm Middletown- you, me, and forty five thousand of our closest friends. The Police-I don't know the total staff number but there are generally about one hundred gun toting, badge wearing Officer types, and their job, Ladies and Gentlemen, is, to make sure that the rest of us behave ourselves in a general kind of way and obey all the important laws, right? Do you know anyone other than a Lawyer who knows "The Law"? Do you think Cops are particularly well versed in "The Law"? And what, pray tell, is this "Law"? Is Law from God? Does God guide the hand of the Lawmaker, whether King, President, President For Life, Pharaoh or what have you? And to hasten an answer to my posited questions, no, of course not on all accounts. So what "motivates" any given Policy Enforcer? Well, from soup to nuts and varying from individual to individual, but of course there's the paycheck and the power, those would be constants. Would you do this if you weren't getting paid is a certain Litmus Test. Most "standing armies" for example won't fight if they don't get paid, as far as I understand, whereas Revolutionaries and Insurgents and Freedom Fighter types fight either for freedom, homeland, life itself, or obviously just cause they're crazy and like to fight in some cases, but it ain't about a Paycheck. If it is about a paycheck, then it's time to talk about money, and who controls money.....and we know who makes and owns "the money", though don't look to me for THAT story. But for example, if the Police where about Justice and What's Right, they would smash their way into every establishment which sells cigarettes, grab the proprietor, drag him out into the the street, and pistol whip him-"This is for Johnny, who's got Cancer!".

 Fred Carroll

Guest Blog: Fred Carrol: What's The Plan, Stan? More Thoughts On Centerscam

  Below is a guest blog from resident Fred Carrol. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers. "Dr." Fred Carrol has shared his thoughts with us many times before via guest blog- his last can be read here:  "Thoughts on Homelessness". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's The Plan, Stan? More Thoughts On Centerscam......Firstly, let me say that I only occasionally deal to any great extent with so called "facts", finding rumor, hearsay, gossip, speculation, and innuendo to be much more reliable tools for getting at "the truth" of a given situation. That said, let me state my basic premise for this blog and then dance with a few details in due time......My basic premise is that Centerplan's plan for "Developing" the area in question may in fact be the best thing that ever was about to happen to Middletown, CT., America, or the whole world, but THAT is NOT Centerscam's motivation for attempting to do this thing.......Centerscam [and all like minded parties] have one motive and one motive only.....and IT IS NOT TO BENEFIT MIDDLETOWN!.,.....okay?
Can we get that little detail straight? A [small] bunch of REALLY BIG DOPES has "a plan" to make some fast, stupid money and that, Ladies and Gentlemen is all there is to it.....okay? Does ANYONE [even N.E.A.T.] not see that?! Okay, great, so some figuratively and literally Big Dumb Dopes decides dat dey is gonna make some money, hey, you gotta problem wit dat? No, I didn't tink so, so dey starts da process of changing the rules so they don't have to break the rules [clever, eh?], and a bunch folks who "fear change" jump up [and down] about "Oh my gosh. you are going to ruin the neighborhood that I have been investing blood sweat and tears in, why?" and the answer comes back; "Shut up, we knows whats is best fuh everybody.....forget about it, eh?" So that is clearly where the the thing currently stands, sits, or whatever it is; now, for some speculation......NEAT gets an office in the new development and Mayor Dan gets no second term, having shown himself to be "More whore than Democrat" for his support of this idiocy......even as supporting Linda Mcwhatshername cost Republican Mayor Seb G. and Councilman Davis B. their respective Offices [or "job" as it's regarded around these parts].

Thank You Fred Carroll

Guest Blog: Thoughts on Homelessness from Fred Carrol

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  Fred Carroll is a Middletown  intellectual icon (we at the Insider certainly think so!), a humanitarian, artist, chess player, founder of the Bums with Brooms social movement to clean up the streets of the city,  secretary of the Realist Balance Party of Middletown, and by traditional definition a practitioner of the "nomadic" lifestyle and  has been at times what most would consider, and by his own definition as well homeless. Below is an essay by Carroll. Thank you Fred!
  
  At Risk Of Stating The Obvious; Thoughts on Homelessness from Fred Carroll......
  
  As NORA becomes ever more tangible and the Buttonwood Tree blossoms the contrast struck by the Old School Mentaltown Townies is all of a full blown mind muck to this author.....I don't so to speak "get it". What game are we playing here, is the most begged question to my mind. On the one hand we have many very serious people with everything in the world to lose who are putting blood, sweat, and tears into their respective avocations and ambitions....and on the "other" hand we have so many people in this City who "represent" on a daily basis the high pathos of addiction and dysfunction to the point of creating their very own "Dystopia" right in the midst of the larger paradigm. Or am I mistaken, is commerce the larger agenda? Or is whatever you call the other thing....."Services"? the bigger agenda......I'm not at all sure that this a question which has been definitively answered. So lets take a quick look here....the Services Crowd can stand around whacked and jacked on their combination of legal and illegal Dope, smoke cigarettes, and spit on the sidewalk absolutely ANYWHERE, but can "NORA" just pack up and shift North or South or East or West and "reinvent itself" at some other location? No, in a word....no. So why in the Hell are all these malevolent clowns still holding court on Main Street every goddamn day? Does somebody assume that this loose army of like minded idiots is incapable or not inclined to kill every good thing that has happened in the North End recently? Let's test it, after all....what have we got to lose?
• Addendum...."Homeless" or "homelessness" is surely the wrong word, though whatever the term or concept it surely overlaps and confluences with homelessness proper significantly. George Carlin uses the phrase "street people" and extend that to "street culture", or what I would I would call "Dirt Bag Culture"....and then the rest is history.

  Fred Carroll

  
  

Guest Blog: Loitering (Cold) War Update!

Guest Blog by the Fred J. Carrol
All guest blogs are published as a courtesy and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Insider Staff.

Below is an update to his previously published essay here: http://www.middletowninsider.com/2012/09/guest-blog-loitering-wars-update-by.html 
Many thanks Fred!

Loitering [Cold] War Update....tempered by five years 

of Bum with Brooming

.....well, let me start with right now and work my way backwards....as I walk up or down Liberty or Grand basically between High and Main streets of course I don't have to "look at" the garbage to see it, I already know it's there and can't help but see it....smell it, sense it, and not only do I not feel the same itch which prompted me to drop to my knees and start pulling weeds once upon a time back as it were in the day, before this Obama took the country completely Socialist! [sorry, I can't help myself...that's a joke....], yeah back in the day when the Doctor was a weed pullin' fool, a veritable broom swingin' savant [ I don't have to tell you what kind of savant], a leaf blower bearing bastard who didn't mind, nay verily delighted in, making a public fool of himself by energetically cleaning various types of "property", any or all of which obviously did not belong to said fool me...... so in other words what, am I crazy? What is going on here, why is this shaggy haired toothless old goofball cleaning the sidewalk, curb, steps, lawn, dumpster area, alley like he was not only getting paid, but maybe had an electric shock collar on punishing any slowing down with a few volts....Yeah, never mind "Oh no, I'm working but, alas! I am not being PAID to work...oh woe is me...woe is me..", no, never mind that, my initial Bums With Brooms endeavors had every potential to get me arrested, committed, or murdered.
Yeah it was a fairly dangerous bit, you know, just being out and all around at all hours, never mind being me, which is to say a hundred and fifty five pound long haired women's pants wearin' fifty some years old chess playing effete intellectual snob...very dangerous bit, never mind fairly. Anyway, why the hell did I want to do what I did for a solid four years, why? To answer as truthfully as possible with brevity at a premium also, I did it[wanted to do it] because I had nothing else to do, but beside that, because I enjoy blowing peoples minds...it's a sixties thing, you know....anyway.....what I started out to say is that...I don't want to clean the streets I mentioned anymore.....I feel like a plurality of the people who live there truly don't deserve clean, or, more importantly want it..... and my "artist's eye" is really developing to the point where I see litter as something which is as much as supposed to be there, as an emblem or flag of the [pardon me!] zeitgeist of a particular neighborhood, and shouldn't necessarily be disturbed......But so to bring it to loitering I honestly don't even really have anything to say about people standing around all day every day not selling drugs, or whatever it is.
My problem is when people leave their [tubercular sounding !] lung butter on the ground. That's it. And I'd bet it would take electric shock collars to get them to stop.
Fred J. Carroll