Monday, September 09, 2013

Guestblog: "If God Didn't Want Us To Eat Animals ......" by Fred Carroll

Below is a guest blog from resident & Realistic Balance Common Council candidate Fred Carroll. The essay reflects views and opinions not necessarily shared by the Insider staff, and is published as a courtesy to readers.Type "Fred Carroll" into our search bar for more essays by Dr. Fred

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"If God Didn't Want Us To Eat Animals ......" "He would not have made them out of meat!" You've undoubtedly heard that admittedly clever one liner, which, while pithy, is also problematic, for if being "made out of meat" is the salient criterion for eating some......body, then by deduction, you and I are one hundred per cent "plat-able", as we are surely made of meat. [And for our purposes here we are talking only of the flesh, as there is presumably no such thing as "eating someones soul", after all....] So to get right to that very vital and very edible organ, the heart of the matter, why, pray tell, don't meat eating Humans eat the meat of other Humans? Or at the very least the family pet; you know, like after The Kids have grown up and mercifully moved out, and FIDO is way too old and feeble to wrangle with an intruder, why, instead of taking him to the Veterinarian or the Shelter to be humanely euthanized, don't we take him to the Butcher or The Slaughter House to be humanely slaughtered, and at least have one last delicious meal off of our Old Friends demise? Come on now, admit it, there's no good reason why you shouldn't eat your Dog when he dies...... I mean what's the problem? And while we're at it, don't the laws need to change to allow for the safe, humane consumption of ALL meat based cadavers? Think about it, there are countless hungry Humans out there and yet we continue burying perfectly good food-"meat"- in expensive boxes called "caskets", or "coffins"....what the Hell is up with that?! Come on people, let's lose the silly taboos and antiquated "traditions" prohibiting the safe consumption of any and all meat. Consider if you will, for example, that there are Humans who would NEVER eat a Cow, others who prefer Dog, and still others for whom LIVE MONKEY BRAIN is the creme de la creme of fine cuisine! And, surely someone somewhere [besides Iron deficient Mike Tyson] is licking his chops at the prospect of eating his enemies and their children....so let us come up to speed and "get with the program" here........see you for dinner! Sincerely, "Toothless" Fred Carroll

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