Staff at the Insider would like to provide readers with the following election guide in the form of superlative awards we have selected for some of our favorite people active the community this past election cycle!
Journalism Awards:
Most Unbiased & Equal Middletown Media Coverage: Cassandra Day Editor of Middletown Patch
Most Biased, Poorly Quoted "Coverage": Viktoria Sundqvist, Middletown Mess
Best Hair: Eye reporter FishMuscle Devoto
Best Sense of Humor: Middletown Insider for our "jejune-ness"
Candidate Awards:
Candidate with Best Traffic Updates and Gratuitous Press Releases: Matt Lesser
Most Humble & Least Likely to Sleep Ever if Elected Candidate: Deb Kleckowski
Candidate Most Likely to Become an Air Traffic Controller based on hand signal usage when speaking: Rosa DeLauro
Most Handlers & most in need of handlers: Rosa DeLauro
Best Speaker with the Most Common Sense: Wanye Winsley
The Duh Duh Um Um Ahhh Distinguished Speaker Award: Big Dan "Call Me Dannel" Malloy
Most Likely to Hold Press Conference Based On Lies: Lil' Dan Drew
Best Entrance for Crashing said Press Conference: Senator Len Suzio
Most Likely to Receive Endorsements from People Whom Never Met Him: Matt Lesser
Most Likely to be Recast as Roseanne Barr's character in the remake of the 1989 film "She-Devil": Dante Bartolomeo
Most
Likely to campaign on City/Tax-payer funded Time & get photographed
doing so: tie- Mayor Dan Drew and Serracrat Cousin Dir. of Water &
Sewer Guy Russo
Honorary Awards:
Most Family Oriented: tie- Councilwoman Hope Kasper, for Hiring her Unqualified Son in Law a Job at the BOE Administration, Councilman Tom Serra, for insisting hired employees "worship" here and fulfil his incestuous fantasy of having only "chosen" individuals in every city department. Also for hiring a City Attorney who worked for the National Democratic Committee, whom then upon moving to town can become a Dem Town Committee member and well, you get the picture....
The Clinton Couple in Politics Award For Most Dynamic & Least
Understood Marriage: Councilman Bob Santangelo and wife Registrar of
Voters/Co-Mayor Lisa Santangelo