Local Middletown resident to star in blockbuster movie!
Middletown-
Jersey Films and director Brian Sonnenfeld have announced that the newest
chapter in the Elmore Leonard Chilli Palmer series will be lensing in
Middletown, CT. According to the town’s
current mayor and Chinese ambassador Dan Drew, the film will star local starlet
Lisa “ME” Santangelo in the lead role of ex-shylock turned Hollywood producer.
“We are going for a different vibe,” Drew said bluntly as
he adjusted the pencils on his desk. “John’s (Travolta) version of Chilli was
great in ‘Get Shorty’ and ‘Be Cool’, but now with Lisa cast in the role we are
going for the gut.” Drew then revealed
the film will called ‘Got Trouble’ and will be based on Santangelo’s real life
antics of causing trouble around town most notably in the Registrar of Voter’s
office.
“I think it’s remarkable casting,” added Benjamin
Florsheim, Wesleyan class of 2014, DTC member, and definitely a public figure. “Lisa’s
ability to piss off everyone in town is incredible. She is like a bull in a
china (pun intended, Dan!) shop and has made enemies with everybody in her way.
She also bullies her way onto committees all over town and doesn’t have the
decency to show up unless there is something in it for her.” When asked to press further about
Santangelo’s reputed antics with regard to any other wrong doings, the Wesleyan
student said with a wink: “Trouble is coming on Monday!” Lisa Santangelo is the Democratic Registrar of Voters and formerly the chair of the Middletown Democratic Town Committee and campaign manager. She is wife of Councilman Bob Santangelo.
Screw The Hunger Games, rent Capicorn One if you can find it!
Capicorn One: Imagine a movie that features O.J.
Simpson running from the cops years prior to his arrest for the murder
of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman- if you can visualize such a
cinematic feat, than Capicorn Oneis for you. This 1978 Peter Hyams directed gem tells the tale of NASA staging a fake Mars landing for political and financial purposes. Kind of like flying to China or Washington D.C. to get your local middle Connecticut city out of debut. I
love conspiracy type films that have guys in suits plotting to fool the
American public with some far fetched ideas for selfish reasons;
usually the filmmakers hire Hal Holbrook (The Firm), Robert Prosky (Thief) or J.T. Walsh(Backdraft)
to serve as the evil self- serving government man that wears nice
expensive suits. In this case, Holbrook plays the role of, like it
matters, Dr. James Kelloway, NASA authority on the Mars landing. Guess
what happens next? Holbrook decides to pull the plug on the Mars launch
due to a faulty life support system; soon the astronauts are removed
from their grounded space capsule and flown to an old abandoned United States
Army Air Corp base deep in the desert. Why are all the secret bases
always in the desert in these films? Where do these government people
eat, live and socialize?
Holbrook,
due to his NASA pull, is able to film the astronauts in a sound studio
doing faux astronaut stuff like jump around and grab space rocks. I
find it very hard to believe that nobody goes home at night at says to
their wife:
“Honey, you can’t say anything, but you know that Mars landing thing that keeps interrupting General Hospital?” “Yes, Rupert.” “Well,
um, it’s really a bunch of guys at work making sets and sending out
fake news footage to the world’s press to convince everybody that we can
really go to Mars.” Actually that would have made a better movie.
Back to the plot: The astronauts played by James
Brolin, Sam Waterson and O.J. Simpson are forced to remain in captivity
for several months while they are periodically forced to film more fake
Mars footage. When does O.J. run from the cops? Hold on tight it’s coming. Soon
Elliot Gould’s reporter character finds a NASA technician who figures
out what the big bad government guys are doing and wants to investigate
further. Guess what? The technician winds up dead and Gould’s character is
arrested, fired from his job and
harassed by government agents dressed in black; they even fly black
helicopters. Cut to the astronauts: who now realize that they need to
get the hell out of dodge before Hal Holbrook turns them into fish food.
Holbrook, not looking like Mark Twain, explains to the American public that the astronauts died upon
re-entry. Big Lie!! I guess he didn’t count on the triple team up of
Simpson, Waterson and Brolin to stage an amazing escape and tell the
world the truth. Director Hyams shows us various shots of the actors in
chase sequences and overuses the wide angles of his cameras; a move that would put
Roger Corman to shame. In this movie, Simpson’s character is captured and
presumably murdered by the government for doing nothing wrong, while on
real Earth, Simpson ran from cops and was tried and acquitted of double
homicide in 1994. Scary stuff. The ending: Elliot Gould, former Mr.
Barbara Streisand, helps James Brolin, future
Mr. Barbara Streisand expose the government’s lies and deception about
the fake Mars landing and other assorted evil things. Whew! Only in the
movies. Oh yeah, David Doyle, Bosley from TV’s Charlie’s Angels plays Gould’s boss that enjoys laughing at Elliot’s conspiracy theories. Good Stuff!
