Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Reader Submitted: Put All the Old People in Jail!

Put All the Old People in Jail! 


Put all the old people in jail!

Here's the way it should be:

Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They would receive unlimited free prescriptions,

dental and medical treatment, wheelchairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring,

so they would be helped instantly...

if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week

and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard  would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room,

spiritual counseling, a pool and education...

and free admission to in-house concerts by

   nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing - i.e.,
              Shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free

upon request.
There would be private, secure rooms provided for all

with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone

and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to
     hear any complaints

and the ACLU would fight

for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to be
              strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge
              to protect the seniors and their families

from abuse or neglect.
As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.
They would be left alone and unsupervised.
They would receive showers once a week.
They would live in tiny rooms,
for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.
They would have no hope
of ever getting out.
"Sounds like justice to me!"
(If you agree, pass this on!)

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