Roots in Ripon
Chuck Roots
6 November 2017
In the 1950s, the beloved Arthur Gordon “Art”
Linkletter had a TV show that was always entertaining. Perhaps the best-known
segment of this weekly show was, Kids Say
the Darndest Things! Well, I’ve got a couple of my own!
A couple of years ago I bought a new cell phone.
It was the iPhone 6Plus. On my previous phone I had two or three different apps
I had downloaded that acted as flashlights. With my new phone I went looking
for my flashlight apps to no avail. So, I was standing in the kitchen fumbling
with the phone, wondering where these apps were when then seven-year-old
granddaughter Alyssa says, “I’ll show you, Granddaddy.” I sheepishly handed
over my phone while having this sinking feeling that I was about to be shown up
by a second grader. My premonitions were correct! With one deft swipe of her
little finger she made another screen appear on my phone. She quickly tapped
the glass surface and Voila! A very bright light came on. She handed the phone
back and resumed working on her homework.
At this point I should have left well enough
alone. But, Nooooo, I had to step right in it. I said, “You were moving too fast for me. Show me what you did.” She gave
me a patient, parental look, reached for my phone and said, “Granddaddy, the new iPhone 6 comes with a
flashlight app built in.” “Oh,” I
said. “I didn’t know that.” It didn’t
even occur to me that a flashlight device was built in. I just stood there with
what I can only assume was a foolish look on my face. Alyssa simply returned to
her homework.
Just a few weeks ago friends from Texas came to
visit. Of course we got around to talking about our
grandkids and showing our latest pictures of this newly emerging generation.
The way Frank explained this story about one of his grandkids, the college
being attended by this grandkid was very expensive. On a recent visit with this
progeny they asked what they were planning to do once they graduated from
college. Without a moment’s hesitation, the child said, “I want to be a professional dog walker.” Our friends were stunned,
to say the least. Several hundred thousand dollars for the best education money
can buy to become . . . a professional dog walker! I looked it up – “An average dog walker salary in New York
City is $45,000.” I may come out of retirement.
Brooklyne is our other granddaughter,
nine-years-old, who lives about a half-hour from us, so Isaura and I are fairly
active in her life and grandson Colson’s on a weekly basis. Isaura was down
taking care of Brook and Colson a few Fridays ago when Brook announced to Meema
(Isaura) that she knew what she wanted to be when she grew up. My wife, of
course, encouraged her to share this revelation. The conversation had been
about Brook’s natural artistic abilities which prompted my wife to suggest she
might pursue that as a career path. Brooklyne quickly nixed that idea. “No, I don’t want to do that. I want to be a
lawyer!” Somewhat surprised at this pronouncement, Isaura then asked, “Why do you want to be a lawyer, Brook?”
Brooklyne smiled and said, “Because
lawyers get to argue. And I’m really good at arguing!” We all had a good
laugh at that! I believe Brook could convince me the moon is made of cheese!
My last foray into children and their career
choices brings us back to Alyssa, now nine-years-old, but turns ten later this
month. A couple of weeks ago, our daughter Laura, asked her daughter Alyssa,
what she wanted to be when she grows up. Well, we all know how much she loves
animals, having expressed interest in becoming a veterinarian before. So, she
pops off with this comment, “I want to be
a vet, or a professional horseback rider . . . NO!” Leaving her parents in
suspense, she then says, “I want to be a
professional bed tester!” Our son-in-law Ken, says, “A what?” Alyssa responds, “You
know, Daddy! A professional bed tester where you take naps on beds and get paid
for it to see how comfy they are.”
Okay, so I checked on how much a professional bed
tester makes. The motel chain,
Roots in Ripon - Author Chuck Roots |
Travelodge, has a professional bed tester who
makes $53,000 a year! I’m seriously thinking about coming out of retirement
now!
I can’t wait to hear what Colson wants to be.
Right now, he’s only five and isn’t thinking about careers just yet. At least I
don’t think he is.
When I was their age I wanted to be a fireman
riding a big red fire truck with a Dalmatian riding in the seat. Or a
professional baseball player (Yea for the Houston Astros – 2017 World Series
Champs!). That was about the extent of it for me.
But I do think I might be cut out for this bed
tester job. I’m sure there’s a phone number I can call. Where is that number? It’s
right here somewhere . . .
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