Monday, July 28, 2014

Matt Lesser announces 'The Affordable Napkin Act for Illegal Aliens'

MIDDDLETOWN-   According to Middletown McDonald’s representatives: It’s official, the napkin kiosk has returned to its rightful home, next the beverage center at the South Main Street establishment.
 “I pushed hard for the McDonald’s on S. Main Street to put the napkin container back on the beverage center, because illegal aliens need napkins too,” said the Matt Lesser Democratic state Representative from the 100th.   A few months ago, the managerial staff of McDonald’s pulled the napkin container from the beverage counters because according to their data, “patrons were stealing napkins and frankly the company was losing money.”
Lesser pushed the bill to provide drivers 
licenses for illegal aliens. Today the TANAI Bill
(D-100th) Matt Lesser "Do you want napkins with that?"

 Enter the Lesser, the legislator who in the past has fought for such causes as The Shannon Blair Foundation, The Dannel Malloy Voting Syndicate and The I Only Had 1 Beer Society explained:  “In the past when somebody spills a little bit of ketchup on themselves-  it is within their constitutional rights to stand up and grab a bundle of napkins from the container and go back to their meal, the McDonald’s corporation has violated this be only giving their patrons ONLY two napkins per meal.  It has been reported to me that illegal aliens coming into Connecticut are upset about this part of Americana.  That is why I am proposing  Connecticut State Statute: 10-220-0898 or simply known as : The Affordable Napkin Act for Illegal Aliens (TANAI). 

“I am a strong proponent of TANAI,” said Planning and Zoning member Stephan H. Devoto at last week’s meeting. “Although I hate McDonalds and don’t want to see a napkin waste in this state, I feel that if I suck up to the Dems a little bit I may be able to become chairman of the committee,” said the freshmen Planning and Zoning Commissioner from a special Wi-Fi hook up streamlined to his ten-speed.  “I wasted no time at all when Dan Russo had a stroke, I took the high road
and tried to usurp his position, so why stop now?”

“This is a new territory,” Lesser said. “I am already attempting to bring unions to the college ball payers society, so I figure besides giving illegal aliens more rights than Americans citizens I will fight for the illegals because when it’s time for them  to vote guess who wins? It’s not you, its me and the Democrats, we just want your vote and we will sell all you down the river. Vote Matt Lesser in 2014!” 

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